As is true with any painful loss, it is normal to focus your energy initially on getting through it, and then, after some time has gone by, to notice that it still hurts but not as acutely. Not in the same way.
In the previous articles in this series, the focus was to identify the short-term impact of divorce both on the parents and on the children and to identify some of the special challenges that can be faced in lesbian families. This article will continue to identify the impact for children, with special attention given to the likely long-term effect.
Psychological & Emotional Challenges for Children: Short-Term
Believing It’s Real & Lasting
Initially, children may have a hard time believing that it is really happening and that it won’t all just go away like they wish it would. Similarly, realizing that the divorce or break-up of their parents is likely to be permanent, that they can’t think up a scheme that will get them back together, that they won’t suddenly realize they’ve made a terrible mistake, can be difficult.
Working Through Painful Feelings of Loss
1) Children have painful feelings to work through, like the loss of the family as a family, and possibly the loss of one of their parents, who may move out and not see them as often as they did.
2) They may believe that somehow, it is their fault and may have guilt about it. Guilt also is possible if they feel closer to one parent than the other, or if they deliberately develop more closeness with one parent because of their concern about her or because they feel obligated.
3) Children also need to work through what may be tremendous anger as part of their grief. They may feel anger, in general, because their parents are making such a big change in their lives. They even can decide that they hate the parent they decide is at fault for the divorce.
In summary, they need to work through all of their feelings, come to terms with and accept the reality of the divorce, let themselves off the hook, and give themselves permission to go back to being children.
These are tough tasks for them and they may need the parents help in working through them, even if and while they are angry with one or both parents.
The Ultimate Challenge
But the ultimate challenge they need to overcome has to do with their future…
“Children of divorce need to risk letting themselves fall in love in the face of the memory of parental divorce and the risk of future divorce.” – Judith Wallerstein and Sandra Blakely, Second Chances
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Why isn’t gay marriage legal everywhere in america?
Aperently some people think that it will mean americas downfall. Look at canada, they’re doing better than us and they allow gay marriage…
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Will Asafa Powell and Tyson Gay Be Struck by a Bolt of Lightning?
As we look ahead to this summer’s Beijing Olympics we take a closer look at the men’s 100 meters and the three main contenders for the gold medal in Jamaica’s former world record holder Asafa Powell at 9.74 seconds, the fastest man on the planet Jamaica’s Usain Bolt at 9.72 seconds and the American Tyson Gay, the 2007 World championships triple gold medalist in the 100 meters, 200 meters and the 4x 100 meters. Bolt is also a major contender for the 200 meters, being the silver medalist at the world championships in 2007 in the 200 meters will saw him finishing behind Gay.
But who will make their country proud? Will Asafa Powell stamp his speed in history as the world’s fastest man and 2008 Olympic gold medalist in the Men’s 100 meters? Or will he like always get cold feet on the big occasion? Will the American and very consistent Tyson Gay take the finish line first? Will the narcissistic Usain Bolt; bolt his ego in history as the fastest man in the world and the 2008 Olympic gold medalist in the Men’s 100 meters and the icing on the cake bragging rights for the next four years? Only they can decide in this summer’s Beijing Olympics as they race against time.
Bolt’s recent form has proven itself once again. Almost breaking his countryman’s record at a track meet in Jamaica’s National Stadium a few weeks before when he ran a time of 9.76 seconds, he made it very clear his intentions for the Olympics. A few weeks later at a track meet in the United States of American he ran the fastest time in history 9.72 seconds in a race which incidentally featured Tyson Gay. The Bolt is here. The Jamaican Olympics trials should be very interesting. Who will take the gold?
Political Frugality – Review
It is hard to specify exactly what genre Larry Roth’s new book can fall into. Political, frugal living, gay rights, taking care of the body and more are covered in Political Frugality -Guerrilla Economics for the Demonized, Devalued and Disenfranchised.
Larry was a high income-earner who gave it up to be a relaxed gardener; he exercises, eats right and lives frugally. This retired professional walks-the-walk, and raises several interesting points of view on society and communities.
Discussions on how we dictate each other’s belief system to one another without even realizing what we are doing were definitely thought provoking. Larry also brings to light the unrealistic discrimination that still slides in and out of our daily lives – and we find this normal.
I found the author’s ideas on social security just fantastic. When you think about it, where does our money go if we die early and are not married? For that matter, why should the spouse left behind be penalized by receiving only a portion of the mate’s coverage?
The true cost of climbing the social ladder is certainly a point well made by Larry and his thoughts on how consumerism is a vote with the wallet is enlightening. He talks about corporations that build items without replaceable parts or limited availability in order to force more consumer spending. According to Larry, it does not have to be like this.
Although Political Frugality begins a little heavy and political for my tastes, just past these first few pages the real life stories will entertain and shock the reader. Larry’s nightmare situation with the credit bureau is pretty shocking. This is not another “victim of fraud” story folks, but rather a bureaucratic goof taken to an extreme!
Larry also makes some excellent arguments for the benefits of walking. It can be so much more than frugal and responsible transportation, exercise and meditation – it can actually bond communities. How? I can’t tell you here, you’ll have to read the book to find out!
So many beliefs and views on issues were similar to my own that I found myself thinking “Exactly!” repeatedly. Larry certainly brings attention to some very ironic and illogical social issues. Folks that read Political Frugality will learn new ideas on how to live in a more socially and fiscally responsible way.
ISBN#: 0962522848
Author: Larry Roth
Illustrated by: Andy Dandino
Publisher: Living Cheap Press
paper on influential woman? gay/animal/human rights?
i have to write a paper on an influential woman… i’d prefer if it was someone who is an activist for gay, animal, and/or human rights as these are the issues that concern me most… any suggestions? i’ve been leaning towards persia white(though she doesn’t deal with gay rights) but i’d prefer someone a little more historical
Generation Y and Revolutionary Change
Change will be rapid, constant and revolutionary.
Generation Y members are bright, insightful, fascinating, challenging and inquisitive young adults who are ready to change the world. The question is, are we ready?
They look at the world much differently than most of us. And why shouldn’t they? Generation Y (why) are currently between 13 and 27 years old and rival the Baby Boomer in size. Born after the civil right, woman’s rights and gay rights movements, they view diversity as an accepted norm. Their world has always included high-speed computers, the Internet, cell phones, text messaging and instant communications.
Rapid change is the by-product of their instant communications world.
Generation Y’s world revolves around instant everything. They rely less on face-to-face communications and more on cell phones, instant messaging and the Internet. They don’t wait for answers. If they have a question or an idea, they can immediately share it with their friends or do research on the Internet. In their world the answers to most of life’s questions are only a couple of key strokes away.
Change will be rapid, constant and revolutionary. We can’t stop it. At best, we can slow it down a little. But, change will be coming from all directions and at speeds we have never seen before. Generation Y accepts high speed change as obvious and the status quo as a relic. They don’t want to change things simply for the sake of change, however they will investigate, challenge and reinvent virtually everything.
If rapid change is inevitable then how can we prepare for it? By changing our attitude toward it and insuring that the changes make things better and not just faster.
Some ways to look at change:
Today’s change is tomorrow’s norm.
If you are a change oriented leader expect others to paint a bull’s eye on your back and then shoot arrows at you.
Change is as good or as bad as you make it.
Substitute the word “growth” for “change.” It will revolutionize your perspective about new things.
Tuli Kupferberg said, “When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge.”
If you can’t control the changing event, change how you react to it.Generation Y will dramatically affect our world for the next forty years. Today’s young people want mentors but they want a two-way relationship. Parents, teachers, religious leaders and managers, you still hold the keys. You are their bridge from the status quo to the future. They want your help and leadership; they do not want your roadblocks to change. Instant communication savvy Generation Y members are the leaders to a vastly different future. Hang on, these next few years will be fast, unpredictable and very exciting! Are you ready?
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How does gay marriage destroy the sovereignty of marriage?
By definition, sovereignty means:
1: government free from external control
2: reign: royal authority; the dominion of a monarch
3: the authority of a state to govern another state
So in what way is the sovereignty of marriage destroyed?
I’m looking for the opinion of people who “do” believe this, not of those who “do not”.
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