For the GLBT community, the usual list of gay-friendly vacation spots is short and sweet: San Francisco, New York, LA, Miami. Sure, they are all great cities, but they don’t offer much in the way of novelty. You might even live in one of these more accepting communities. Why not take a trip off the beaten path?

Unique gay-friendly cities are out there-if you know where to look. Offering all the excitement of the bigger cities, like fun nightlife and delectable cuisine, they don’t disappoint. But with a special charm of their own, these unexpected gay-friendly cities are a true escape from the day-to-day.

First up is Providence, Rhode Island. Home to left-leaning colleges like Brown and the Rhode Island School of Design, as well as openly-gay mayor David N. Cicilline, Providence has proven itself to be not only tolerant of the GLBT community, but welcoming to it. With art galleries and historical architecture, as well as gay bathhouses, quaint neighborhoods, and the Culinary Archives and Museum at Johnson and Wales, there isn’t a shortage of exciting things to do while visiting Providence.

Next on the list is Key West, Florida. True to its official motto, “one human family,” Key West hosts a gay-friendly chamber of commerce (the Key West Business Guild), a GLBT Visitor Center, and the only City Aids Memorial in the country. Take a ride on the nation’s only Gay and Lesbian Historic Trolley Tour, visit the open-air bars and clubs, or relax on the beach. There are also plenty of fun events to enjoy, including Gay Spring Break and the Key West Pride Fest.

Does the thought of a Midwest vacation conjure up images of apple pie and cornfields? Smashing the mold is Michigan, home to several gay-friendly cities. Progressive Ann Arbor has been shaped by the University of Michigan for decades. People-watch to your heart’s content at the numerous year-round festivals-the summer’s annual Art Fair alone draws in over 500,000 attendees. Often-overlooked Detroit maintains the Detroit Institute of Arts, the Henry Ford Museum, theaters and performance halls. Only 2 hours west, Lansing hosts one of the larger Gay Pride Parades in the country and offers top-rated clubs, a farmers’ market, and plenty of college hangouts at nearby Michigan State University.

If you’re looking for a true GLBT-friendly gem, tiny Saugatuck-Douglas is a haven on the shores of pristine Lake Michigan. The gay Saugatuck Douglas directory lists hundreds of gay-friendly businesses. Antique shops and art galleries line the streets and are only minutes away from sandy beaches and sunsets over the lake. Saugatuck-Douglas is also home to the Midwest’s largest gay and lesbian resort, the Dunes Resort, with exciting events happening almost every day (and night)! Try out Drag Bingolicious, Sunday Tea, pool-side DJ’s, and even special weekends for the whole family to enjoy (yes, kids included)!

Unique gay-friendly cities are out there-if you know where to look. Offering all the excitement of the bigger cities, along with a special charm of their own, these unexpected gay-friendly cities are a true escape from the day-to-day.
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As is true with any painful loss, it is normal to focus your energy initially on getting through it, and then, after some time has gone by, to notice that it still hurts but not as acutely. Not in the same way.

In the previous articles in this series, the focus was to identify the short-term impact of divorce both on the parents and on the children and to identify some of the special challenges that can be faced in lesbian families. This article will continue to identify the impact for children, with special attention given to the likely long-term effect.

Psychological & Emotional Challenges for Children: Short-Term

Believing It’s Real & Lasting

Initially, children may have a hard time believing that it is really happening and that it won’t all just go away like they wish it would. Similarly, realizing that the divorce or break-up of their parents is likely to be permanent, that they can’t think up a scheme that will get them back together, that they won’t suddenly realize they’ve made a terrible mistake, can be difficult.

Working Through Painful Feelings of Loss

1) Children have painful feelings to work through, like the loss of the family as a family, and possibly the loss of one of their parents, who may move out and not see them as often as they did.

2) They may believe that somehow, it is their fault and may have guilt about it. Guilt also is possible if they feel closer to one parent than the other, or if they deliberately develop more closeness with one parent because of their concern about her or because they feel obligated.

3) Children also need to work through what may be tremendous anger as part of their grief. They may feel anger, in general, because their parents are making such a big change in their lives. They even can decide that they hate the parent they decide is at fault for the divorce.

In summary, they need to work through all of their feelings, come to terms with and accept the reality of the divorce, let themselves off the hook, and give themselves permission to go back to being children.

These are tough tasks for them and they may need the parents help in working through them, even if and while they are angry with one or both parents.

The Ultimate Challenge

But the ultimate challenge they need to overcome has to do with their future…

“Children of divorce need to risk letting themselves fall in love in the face of the memory of parental divorce and the risk of future divorce.” – Judith Wallerstein and Sandra Blakely, Second Chances
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Presidential hopeful Bill T. Antichrist tells us how he feels about these two important issues. Visit us at www.TheMonkeyBox.com
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